All respects to Rumiko Takashi, her characters are obviously not mine, and not my property.

				        Baka gajin no Nerima 
			                 (The Fool Foreigner of Nerima)


					Chapter 3
				    Tomodachi no umi ni kara
				      (Friend from the ocean)

	The rest of the week came and went. The entire time, Alex didn't see hide nor hair of the two Joketzuku, Shampoo & Mousse. Ranma 
even commented that he hadn't been glomped by the stubborn Amazon girl, or attacked in public by the visually challenged one in quite some time.
Alex gave an absent minded, "Hmm, yes." Every time Ranma brought it up, pretending not to take any notice of it. But, it was a weak facade, he had
a feeling deep down that he was responsible, somehow.
	He hadn't told Ranma or Akane what had happened, like he promised himself he would. The fight with Mousse, then the follow up with
Shampoo. There, he had literally shown his throat bare to the wolf..and the wolf had backed down, or as Ranma would have said, the cat. He 
wanted to tell them. But something about that incident, when he and Shampoo had locked eyes like that...it had been the closest thing to an 
intimate moment with a member of the opposite sex. It was quite confusing, and he felt uncomfortable with the idea of sharing it, atleast not with
Ranma.
	If there's one thing he had learned about Ranma, it's that actually being a girl, had made him alot more sensitive about himself, even 
insecure. Of course if you changed into a girl, and began running on a different set of chemicals everytime you were splashed with cold water, 
you'd become insecure too.
	So, on a nice cloudless Saturday night, as he stood in a one-legged stance, he contemplated his next move. He yearned for the idiotic
liberal ideals of American teenagers at this time, just so he could mock them mentally. He missed his collection of slightly insane internet friends, of
course that wasn't to say he wasn't abit crazy aswell. He noticed the moon was full, hanging high in the sky. He remembered then a fable Nihonjin
had about bunnies on the moon. He wasn't sure where they got it, but he got abit of a chuckle out of it.
	He then heard Akane speak softly behind him, "Alex-kun?"
	She had literally snuck up on him so well that he was shocked into leaping high into the air, as high as he ever had before as a matter of
fact. He floated midair for a second.
	Akane frowned at him playfully, shaking a finger, "You jump around way to much, alot of my friends are starting to think you're some 
kind of thrill addict. Get down right now."
	He couldn't resist her intriguing demeanor, and landed on the ground.
	He bowed in greeting, "Konbanwa Akane-san."
	She bonked him on the head, knocking him to the ground, "Oh quit being so polite. You'll have been here a week tomorrow, and you're
just as much a part of this household as Ranma and Mr. Saotome, if not abit more gracious."
	He got up, and bowed again, "Gommen, it's just my nature I guess. Gosh I had no idea how late it was...have I been out here thinking that
long?"
	"Yes you have, even father and Mr. Saotome are wondering what's wrong, and it takes something big to gain their attention usually." She
sounded genuinely concerned.
	"Well...uh..." He guess his cover was blown.
	"Somethind happened your second day that you haven't told anyone about."
	"And I don't intend to any time soon I'm afraid."
	Akane cracked her knuckles in warning, "If you don't tell me I'll knock you farther than I've knocked anyone before." He could tell she was
serious.
	He sighed, and explained the previously omitted fight with Shampoo, and how it had ended.
	Akane stood rather agast, "So...she just left? Wow."
	Alex sighed, "That's what I told myself, I was sure I was dead, but I didn't want to fight anymore, three in one day is way to much for me."
	She patted his cheek and smiled, "That's why I like you Alex...you don't get a rush out of fighting like all these other boys, you're a TRUE
martial artist." She then stood on the tips of her toes-being a Nihonjin and thus much shorter than him- and pecked him lightly on the cheek. She
smiled again and walked right back inside.
	Alex in the meanwhile, was blushing redder than the rising sun. She hadn't just kissed him, no way, he had hallucinated it, to much
meditation. He thought it over though, it had been real. No girl had ever kissed him like that before, with a few isolated incidents that had absolutely
no seriousness whatsoever. This was serious though, atleast that's what he thought.
	He then felt something wet plop onto his head, then another, then another. Soon it was raining...Alex knew what was coming next.
	Akane shouted from her window, "Alex! It's raining you better get inside!"
	He knew this was gonna turn into an akward evening.
	He thought about it for about five minutes while the rain pelted down on him. Then Akane came out, clocked him on the head and dragged
him inside.
	"Honestly, it's like you have to think about whether you'd prefer to say out in the rain."
	Alex murmered under his breath, "If you were in my posistion you'd be thinking too.."
	She took him upstairs by the scruff of his coat collar, and took it off.
	"Get the rest of your clothes off and take a bath, dad would kill me if I you caught a cold after I let you stand out in the rain for five 
minutes." She obviously wasn't gonna take no for an answer.
	So after she left, he complied and stripped, leaving his wet clothes in the hamper, while he washed himself before he got in the bath. With
his back turned to it, he heard the door open. He guessed Akane was just coming in to get his wet clothes, and he whistled a little tune while he
scrubbed his arms and legs. Suddenly, he felt something scrubbing his back. He made a general sound of comfort for a second..then realised what
must be going on.
	"Ahh..mm...Akane you really don't need to be doing that..." He was very perplexed, and prayed, to whatever higher force that might be
listening; that she wasn't coming onto him.
	"Nonsense, it's a common curtosy here, I thought you'd know that."
	The blush that had started to build up "Well among friends of the same gender, I never heard about it amongst opposite genders."
	"Oh grit your teeth and enjoy it. You haven't seen anything and neither have I, we're both completely innocent." She giggled.
	"Yeah..innocent." Of course deep down his male sexual instincts were kicking in. Try and cop and innocent feel maybe, or just get a good
peak. He mentally smacked himself, of course his body reprimanded him right back with one of the most embarrasing things a man can deal with in
a naked situation.
	Dumb luck however saved him, Akane patted him on the shoulder, and splashed his back with water, cleaning off all the suds, then told
him to jump into the hot bath, while she dried off, dressed, and walked out, saying she didn't expect to see him trying to sleep anywhere but in her
room that evening.
	He sat in the bath, while his potentially embarrasing condition cooled off in the hot water. He layed his head back, and started reciting 
lines from one of his favorite Pink Floyd songs.
	<Goodbye cruel world, I'm leaving you today.
	Goodbye, goodbye...goodbye.
	Goodbye all you people, there's nothing you can say,
	To make me change my mind, goodbye.>

	He then hummed the tune to "What Shall We Do Now?"

	<What shall we use to fill the empty spaces?
	Where waves of hunger roar.
	Shall we set out across this sea of faces?
	In search of more, and more, applause.
	Shall we buy a new guitar?
	Shall we drive a more powerful car?
	Shall we work straight through the night?
	Shall we get into fights?
	Leave the lights on, drop bombs.
	Do tours of the east, contract disease.
	Bury bones, break up homes, send flowers by phone.
	Teach a trick, go to shrinks, get up mean, rarely sleep.
	Keep people as pets, train dogs, race rats, fill the attic with cash.
	Bury treasures, store our legends.
	Do anything at all.
	With our backs to The Wall.>

	He didn't know why he suddenly thought of the rather deepressing Floydian rhythms, but it made him think of home aswell, America. He
sighed again, closing his, taking in the warm water, enjoying  the breeze from the open window.
	He realized, "Wait a second..I didn't open the window."
	He heard a voice very close, right infront of him, "You sing odd American music, but you have good voice." It was Shampoo.
	He opened his eyes, she was naked in the bathtub with him.
	"Ms. Sh...Ms. Shampoo, what're you doing?"
	She had a very sultry attitude, "Shampoo come offer herself to you, you beat Shampoo."
	Alex was confused, and as his bodily instincts kicked in, he wound up with a very embarassing physical condition.
	"Aiya! You offer yourself to Shampoo!"
	He tried to keep his voice low and keep away from her, "N..no! Ms. Shampoo I didn't beat you!"
	She held a hand to her chest,  "Yes you did, you beat Shampoo with your heart. You say you no fight Shampoo, you no like fight. 
Shampoo not understand this, so she give up and want you so she can understand."
	She then tried to grab him in the tub, but he quickly darted away.
	"M..Ms. Shampoo I'm afraid I can't concede to this for several reasons." He prayed that this worked, "For one thing, the exchange 
program..ah!" He dodged another grab attempt, "...specifically forbids any intimate relationships during the period of my exchange. Secondly I 
wouldn't want to...eek!...uh...get between you and Mousse. Thirdly, Ranma beat you first, so shouldn't he be your first prospe..ah!" She finally 
caught him in a near deathlock of a hug, pressing her naked body against him.
	He nearly passed out, <Oh dear god kill me now...>
	He heard the bathroom door crack open, and again requested that the higher powers strike him down before someone else did.
	Yet when he noticed that he didn't feel Shampoo anymore, he opened his eyes...the window was still open. She must have left, he then
looked to the door, Akane had come in just a few moments to slow.
	"I just came to make sure you didn't fall asleep in the tub, come on get out and get dried, I've set up a futon in my room." She winked at
him and exited.
	Sighing to himself, he complied, and stepped into Akane's room wearing his usual sleeping clothes, a big loose t-shirt, and some boxers.
He was lucky the shirt was more than enough to cover him below the waist. She had indeed set up a nice looking futon on the floor, and she was
already in bed reading some shoujo manga he couldn't make any details about; in her PJs...
	After incredibly intense stimulation thanks to that amazon, Alex was ready to do anything that was female, human, and living. He 
mentally smacked himself out of his sexual daydreams though, and got comfy on the futon.
	"Akane, are things always insane around here?"
	Akane giggled, "Yes, but you get used to it. The day before you got here, we had to fight off a giant phoenix creature Kuno had used to
make himself invincible.Then two weeks before that, Ryouga had some weird tatoo on his stomach that made it impossible for anyone to hit him.
Then last month, an evil ogre was running rampant and possessing everyone."
	"Sounds like fun, alot more interesting than boring Alaska."
	She laughed, "You'll see, good night." She clicked the light off.
	"Night." Alex got comfy, and tried to fall asleep.

	_You can never fall alseep when you want to can you? You just have to ruin everything for yourself by THINKING!_ He tossed and
turned quietly on the futon, his mind refusing to slow down with the rest of his body.
	In the dark, his eyes were wide and perfect for nightvision, despite his lack of optical correction. Of course all his other senses were 
enhanced in the dark aswell, whether by childhood traumatic fear of the dark, or just plain natural ability, but for whatever reason, they served him
well. Against the moonlight from the window, he saw a small shadowy figure against the glass like a spider. He feigned, keeping his eyes closed as
much as they could without restricting his sight, while he heard the slow hiss of the window sliding open. He waited for this prowler to be in a
posistion where he wouldn't notice him moving. 
	He reached quietly for his nearby suitcase, which had fortunatly been left open, and took out something he had brought along to Japan, 
JUST in case. He rolled, making sounds as if he were still asleep, which didn't phase the sneak one bit, and his hand landed right where he wanted it.
He grabbed the something, and waited. 
	The shadowy burgler made his way to Akane's dressers and opened it up. His back was turned, and Alex saw his opportunity. He moved
like he a striking cobra, and the smashed the small figure right on the head with his ashwood club. He heard the crack of well crafted wood meeting
bone, and with a groan the shadowy little figure hit the ground, Alex made sure to clock it a few more times. While his sight was blurry, he could
make out the basic shape of the odd little mans head. Once he was sure the freak was unconcious, he flipped the light on.
	The sudden flood of artificial light woke Akane up, she looked at Alex there with club in hand, and then to what he was looking at.
	Alex recognized it as that weirdo he had seen the day he fought Mousse, the one going after women's underwear. This time though he 
had several large bumps on his head. Alex was sure he had practically smashed the guys head in.
	Akane screamed, "AAIIIIIIIE!"
	The entire house woke up in an instant. Ranma was the first into the room, and when he locked his eyes on the little old man, and picked
up the bruised and battered mass, and yelled at it.
	"What're you doing here you old fart?!"
	The smashed small man could only groan in pain.
	Alex poked it with his club, "He's not dead? I was sure I had hit him enough times to dent a steel beam."
	Soun and Genma stormed in, and screamed like little girls, "Master Happousai has returned to curse us again!"
	Alex blinked. Happousai, so that was it's name. He suddenly noticed Akane was still abit shocked by the intrusion and had grabbed onto
his shirt sleeve. Then the sisters arrived.
	Nabiki made her usual sly remark, "Oh sis, saved from the old pervert by the gallant kinno gaijin?"
	Akane quickly recoiled and took her hands off Alex, "I was just scared that's all!"
	Alex poked the bruised mass again, "What do we do with him Ranma?"
	Ranma grinned, "Boot him into orbit and hope he reenters somewhere around Europe, those weirdo's will appreciate a sicko like him 
there."
	Alex put his club away, and held his hand out, "May I have the honor?"
	Ranma handed him the beaten man, "Sure, everyone get's their turn around here."
	Soun and Genma were crying in the meanwhile, "The master will be sure to make us pay this time."
	Alex shook his head and went outside. Just when he was ready to give this guy the best soccer kick he had, the little thing squirmed and
lept from his grasp.
	"Quite a swing you've got there m'boy!" The shrivled thing seemed unaffected by assault that had been landed on him less than a minute
ago.
	Alex was agast, "Mind me asking, why aren't you in a coma? I hit you enough times to put down a 300lbs raging crack addict."
	Happousai laughed, "Don't associate old age with weakness young gaijin! I'm surprised you were able to sneak up on me."
	Alex quirked an eyebrow, "Not to hard when you're busy trying to steal Akane's underwear."
	The weird old man laughed again, "If you don't mind me I'll be on my way, remind me to teach you alittle lesson in respect to your elders
next time, gaijin boy!" With a whirl of his cape the freak bounced over the wall and ran off.
	Alex huffed, "Well goddamnit."
	With that, he went back to Akane's room where he informed her he had kicked the old man out (which he had, in a sense), and bid her 
goodnight.

	The next morning, things went as usual, Alex jumped into the morning spar between Ranma & Genma, making it a three-way free-for-all.
He and Ranma both got slammed into the pond, then the two of them sent Genma sailing.
	It's interesting how accustomed on gets to eating with a giant panda.
	At breakfast Soun made alittle announcement.
	"Well, it's been a week now since our young guest arrived here. So I decided we'd do something special. Today, we're going to the 
beach!"
	All three sisters gave a 'woohoo!'. But Ranma & Genma weren't all to happy. Beach ment cold water, and cold water ment being stuck in
their cursed forms.
	"So get your things together, we've got to get a good head start."
	With that, everyone got together all the necessities for a fun day of sun at the beach. Alex luckily had remembered to bring along some
swimming trunks for just such an occasion, so after packing that an a good white shirt, he was ready.
	
	After a long bus ride, they arrived at the beach.
	It was a warm sunny summer day, just reaching noon. The yellow orb of sunlight hung high, while gulls screeched and waves crashed
against the beach. Many people were out enjoying themselves, families, couples, teenagers, all looking for abit of fun and relaxation.
	After shying away many offers from the three Tendo sisters to rub sun lotion on him, he hit the waters, loving the warm feel of the salt 
water. He swam as far out as he could, then let himself float. Once again he entered one of his weird little phase outs. So his mind drifted, like his 
body. After awhile he snapped out of it, he was quite a ways out, and he swam back to shore. 
	When he had returned, he found Akane fostering an unconcious Ryouga. She explained that she had found him being buried in the sand
by some devious little children, and he had most likely passed out after seeing a few to many girls in bikini's.
	Alex laughed, and wondered how he'd react when he woke up to Akane in a bikini. He'd probably bleed to death through his nose or 
suffer ten simultaneous heart attacks. He laughed again, and got comfy on a towel, laying on his belly facing the ocean.
	He noticed something then...he saw bubbles, air bubbles, rising from the water, they seemed to follow a path, heading straight for the
shore. Then he noticed a head of brown hair break from the under the surface, and soon, a boy in his mid teens was one the shore, with various
examples of marine flora hanging off his body, and even a few fish falling out of his shirt and pant legs.
	Alex recognized him right off the bat. He walked up to the sea soaked teen.
	He wouldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, but there he was.
	He shook his head abit, then put his hand on his friend's shoulder, <Hey Warren. Well, what's a guy like you doing in a crazy place like 
this?>
	<I'd be asking you the same thing.> His friend responded.
	Alex brought his friend to the others and introduced him.
	"This sea rat is my friend from back in America, Warren Davis."
	Warren waved and gave a formal Japanese greeting.
	Alex whispered, <Maybe you should get into some trunks and tell me just what the hell you're doing here.>
	Warren bapped him, <Don't go telling me what to do already, just because you've got two years older doesn't make you my mother's 
keeper.>
	Alex flinched, <Ow ow, okay okay!> Warren always had a hard hand, it was he had the collective strength of a rottweillers jaw in his fist.
	Warren sat down on a towel and took off the t-shirt he was wearing, <Hope you don't expect ME to explain the situation in Nihongo, 
you're the immersion graduate.>
	Alex laughed, <You're damn right. Let me guess though, you had to walk and/or swim across the pacific cause you're to poor to pay for 
even a boat ride?>
	Warren swung again, but Alex ducked this time, he liked keeping his head on his shoulders, <Haha! I'm right!>
	Warren grumbled something about whitey Alaskan's.
	"My friend Warren is also here on exchange. However, being a rigourous martial artist, he opted to swim across the pacific instead of
taking an airplane or boat."
	The panda Genma stopped playing with a tire for a second to raise a question sign, "Across the Pacific?"
	"Correct."
	The panda seemed surprised, he flipped his sign around, "Whoa."
	Alex turned to his friend, <Don't tell me you're heading for the Tendo Dojo aswell?>
	Warren quirked and eyebrow, <Tendo Dojo? I'm supposed to find someplace called Nekohaten.>
	Alex went pale as a sheet.
	Warren waved his hand infront of his friends blank face, <Hey you in there?>
	Alex snapped out of it, <Uh yeah yeah, just swallowed some bad sea water when I went swimming.>
	For the rest of the day, Alex and his friend talked about life back home. Some weird things happened that the two decided to avoid, like
the old woman Cologne arriving on a shark, and Ranma fighting it and the old woman. Alex decided not to tell Warren he'd be living with the old bag,
he'd learn soon enough.
	As the sun began to seat, the Tendo's & Saotome's plus two caught the first bus inbound for Nerima. Alex asked Soun if Warren could 
stay the night and then Alex could get him settled at Nekohaten tomorrow. It turned out that during the weak, in a tag-team with Ranma & Alex 
against Kuno & Ryouga, a gas pipe had burst and the school was being closed down for an indeterminant ammount of time. Soun nodded, and said
he'd be glad to host one of Alex's friends for the evening.
	That night the two of them slept under the stars. By the time the bus had made it back to Nerima, the sun had sunk far below the horizon.
Thinking about it, Alex realized it had probably begun to rise over Alaska about now. After what Alex felt was a comfortable silence gazing up at the
stars, Warren broke the silence.
	<So, what's with the giant panda?>
	Alex quirked an eyebrow, <You mean Mr. Saotome?>
	Warren stretched his arms out of his sleeping bag, <Do I really wanna know?>
	Alex sighed, then chuckled as he thought about it, <No, but you have to anyway.>

	Warren had much the same reaction Alex'd had when he'd heard it.
	Alex was sure to forewarn him against testing it though, <Ranma's really losing tolerance, and Genma has no tolerance.>
	Warren acked, <Don't read my mind damnit.>
	Alex laughed, <Not to hard, reminds me of a children novels, so many pictures.>
	Warren attempted a witty retort, <Yeah, and yours reminds me of a LONG BORING novel. To much attention to the details and not enough
of what the people like, unchained violence and agression.>
	<Pardon me if I tend not to think by chemicals, and instead use my human will.> Alex replied slyly.
	<You're much wittier in reality than on the net. And much more cynical.>
	Alex chuckled, <It's a gift.>
	Warren got comfy letting himself get wrapped the sleeping bag, <So is everyone here really hyped up about fighting? I've noticed you
seem abit paranoid, and you seem buffer than any pictures we ever traded.>
	Alex sighed, <Yeah people love to fight, you'll fit right in. Watch out for the Chinese Amazon's though, they're nuts, completely bonkers.>
	Warren narrowed a gaze at him, <Hey that's my heritage your ripping on their.>
	Alex didn't care, <If your any bit as crazy as them, then you deserve every rip I can bring to bear. Don't fight the purple haired one, 
WHATEVER YOU DO!>
	Warren yawned, <Okay okay, can we goto sleep now?>
	Alex yawned aswell, <Alright. In a speck of good news, since we're exchange students, we don't have to wear uniforms. It's good when 
you get to dress different, helps establish your idenity.>
	Warren was already snoring. For some reason, Alex found that comforting. Hearing a friend nearby, knowing that he wasn't alone here,
allowed him to fall asleep with relative ease.

	The morning sun broke over the wall of the Tendo dojo, stirring the two Americans. Alex let Warren in on the basic morning schedule, 
telling him that around noon they'd head over to the Nekohaten. Warren stood up and stretched, agreeing.
	After they took their baths, seperately; they weren't comfortable with the Japanese idea of guys bathing together, they decided to do 
something they never did before. After Alex took half an hour teaching him the leaping technique he learned from Ranma, Alex asked if he wanted to
spar in just what they were wearing, no need for formal gi's.
	Warren nodded, <Time to see what Mr. Kenpo's really got.>
	Alex laughed, <Hey no, this is by no means serious, this is a way to keep sharp, and I'll let you know I've learned a few unconvential tricks
in just a weeks stay.> With that, he took a Kenpo forward bow, completely offensive stance, poised to leap.
	Warren took his Bak Fu Pai stance, also ready to start at a moments notice.
	The two lept at each other over the Tendo Koi pond, the dragon against the tiger.
	Warren could punch and hurt like a bitch, but Alex's ability to react was incredible. He didn't have Warren's strength, but his reflexes were
superb, enabling him to act and react to everything Warren did. Alex was also a skinny body, wearing a long coat, causing some blows to only hit
air and jacket fabric.
	However, when Alex decided to unleash the Tiger to finish the session, he lost some of his edge. Since he was soley devoted to attacking,
Warren's disadvantage against him was lessened. They were trading blow for blow, and Warren was stronger, so before long, Alex was spiked into
the pond.
	After they surrendered the pond to the Saotome father-son pairing; proceeding a 4-way free-for-all in which everyone got spiked into the
pond, the two American's had some of Kasumi's wonderful cooking. Alex told Warren he'd give him the tour of Nerima Akane had given him, then
take him to the Nekohaten.
	Between chopstick nabbed bites of rice, Alex asked, <By the by, where's your luggage?>
	Warren took a sushi roll, and swallowed it whole, <Should be arriving by air sometime today.>
	Alex nodded.
	Ranma piped in, "Would you two mind stopping that annoying english talk? It really gets on my nerves."
	Alex apologized, "I'm sorry, it's just that my friend isn't as fluent as me, but he'll learn fast enough or he'll never make it through school."
	Warren blinked, <Goddamnit I knew I should have stayed awake in class more.>

	Alex showed Warren the same landmarks he had learned from Akane, the school, Ucchan's (he had become quite well acquainted with the 
restraunt, it's owner, and it's food in just one week), the Kuno Estate; which Alex warned Warren against with the utmost sincerity, the way to the
arcade (where they had just put in Dance Dance Revolution!), and of course the best way back home from just about anywhere in town; Ranma had
forced Alex to memorize it just in case god forbid anything bad should happen.
	After that was done, Warren & Alex's stomachs started grumbling.
	Warren laughed, <I guess now is a good a time as any, right?>
	Alex grumbled, <Yeah, okay to the Nekohaten.>
	Alex loathed the idea of going back to the Nekohaten, he wasn't sure what would happen this time, or how any of those crazy amazon
dwellers would take it. However, he had to consider his friend first and make sure the Iowa brown-haired part chinese redneck, was well situated 
before he left the poor schmuck on his own.
	He had Warren enter the Nekohaten first, then he entered swiftly, trying to look all sneaky and stealthy, and just looking stupid instead.
	Warren stiffled a laugh, <Uh what're you doing.>
	<Sssssh!> Alex hissed.
	Warren was on the verge of busting, <What, you've got a slow leak?>
	<Sssssh!> Alex was most worried, then he heard it, a shrill cry, not so much like Kodachi, but he should have feared it just the same.
	"NIHAO!" He was glomped out of nowhere by the purple haired Joketzuku known as Shampoo, "Golden lover has return to Shampoo!"
	"AH! Unhand her you corrUGH!" Mousse had just stepped out of the kitchen to find himself quickly golf smashed back in by Cologne.
	"Ah my potential future son-in-law you are back, and it seems that this time you've brought a friend. Shampoo we have customers to tend
to, you can engage in passionate embraces later." Cologne spoke with that certain ageless amusement old people had.
	Shampoo huffed and pecked Alex on the cheek, then went back to serving customers.
	Cologne showed them to a table and asked for their orders.
	"Peking duck, you guys really do it good."
	Warren ordered in Chinese, Alex wondered where he'd learned it, then smacked himself on the head, remembering his friends WAS part
chinese, though it was abit distant.
	"So that's a peking duck and a beef lo mein, that of course comes with the complimentary bowl of rice. I or Shampoo will be back with your
orders in 20 minutes to half an hour." With that the old woman hopped off to the kitchen on her stick, he could swear he heard her chuckling.
	He broke the silence afterwards, <Well I didn't know you spoke chinese THAT well.>
	Warren scratched the back of his head, <You know you're Japanese, I just know my Mandarin real well.>
	Alex sneered in that friendly challenge way, <To bad not many people in Nerima speak Mandarin.>
	Warren blehed, <Eh whadda you know?>
	Suddenly the two American's noticed the sound of a plane over head, then an odd whistling sound.
	Alex cupped a hand behind his ear to listen, <What's that? I thought WWII was over.>
	Warren did the same, <It's not a bomb, WTF is that though? Doesn't sound very aerodyna...>
	With a roaring smash, a backpack slammed through the roof of the Nekohaten, and landed right on Warren's head, soon after a briefcase
followed, slamming him in the chest and onto the ground.
	Alex looked over the table to his semi-unconcious friend, <Whoa, air delivery right at your feet, or in this case, on your head and chest.>
	He noted the spirals in his friends eyes, and helped him into another chair, the one he had previously been sitting in, smashed into 
splinters by the impact.
	Cologne came out and noted the damage, "Odd place to deliver luggage, tsk tsk, another hole in the roof for Mousse to repair."
	Alex nodded in agreement, "Very sorry for the damage Ms. Colonge, I'll pay for it."
	Cologne chuckled, "No need for that, Mousse needs something to keep his mind, eyes, and ears off Shampoo for awhile."
	Alex looked puzzled, "Uh okay."
	"Wait right there, I'll get something for your friend, alittle remedy." The old woman hoped back into the kitchen, and in less than a minute,
came out with a cup of hot tea. "Get him to drink this, should perk him up."
	Alex took the cup, and plugged his friend's nose shut so his mouth opened, <Over his mouth, between his gums, watch out stomach, here
it comes.> He then poored the yellow opaque liquid into his friends mouth and clamped it shut, causing him to swallow. He waited a few seconds.
	Then Warren's eyes shot wide open, Alex stepped back, and his friend sat up rigidly, steam shooting out of his ears and nose.
	Cologne chuckled, "Just alittle remedy. I've had to administer it to Mousse and future son-in-law several times."
	Warren was busy relieving himself of the shock Cologne's 'little remedy' had brought upon him. Alex slapped his friend in the back a few
times as if to knock something out of him.
	Warren coughed a few times, then waved his friend away.
	Cologne told them their food would be ready soon, and hopped back into the kitchen..
	Alex sat back down, and folded his hands together, resting his chin on them, <So when do you want to tell the old woman you'll be 
staying?>
	Warren shuddered, <After seeing that..Shampoo girl, I'm starting to understand your posistion.>
	Alex went, <Hah, good to hear. She's crazy.>
	Suddenly Shampoo came by, and placed their food on the table, after giving a quick thank you, the two boys began digging in. Alex 
ripped his duck apart in his mouth with the ferocity of a wild cat, while Warren went through his lo mein like a man who had not had a decent lunch
in weeks.
	Suddenly, Shampoo sat right down at the end of the table to the left (or right, depending on your point of view) of either American, with a
normal bowl of Ramen.
	Alex was abit nervous, "Uh Shampoo..."
	Shampoo was quick to explain, "Shampoo on lunch break, Shampoo decide she sit next to gold lover and his friend, Shampoo assume from
what grandmother told her, that gold lover's friend is one who be staying with us, yes?"
	Warren was surprised, even for someone who had only taken Japanese for a year or two, her bad Japanese was easily detected.
	Alex spoke for Warren, "Ah yes, he doesn't speak Japanese very well, but he's part Chinese and practically speaks fluent mandarin."
	Shampoo threw some Chinese comment into the air that Alex didn't get, and Warren was quick to respond.
	Alex eyed Warren, <What'd she say?>
	Warren looked back, <She said 'What does an American know of Chinese?' and I said 'Quite abit when your half Chinese.'>
	Shampoo continued to talk in Chinese between chopstick nabbed mouthfuls of ramen noodles, and Warren continued to respond between
that and eating his lo mein, Alex was quickly lost. However by the sounds of their voices, Alex was worried he'd have to break it up lest Warren 
decided to fight Shampoo over whatever they were talking about.
	Shampoo finished, got up, and walked back into the kitchen, not really having much of a nasty angry feeling about her, but more one of
frustration.
	<Well, what was that about?> Alex asked.
	<Eh she just got all wound up that I'm half chinese but don't look a damn thing like it, guess my dad's redneck genes smothered my moms
chinese genes.>
	Alex sipped his tea, <Got that right.>
	Knowing what was coming, Alex ducked his head from a pair of chopsticks Warren had thrown at lethal projectile velocity.
	Warren shook his fist, <Only I get to mock my redneck heritage.>
	Alex spoke flatly, <Whatever hillbilly.>
	This time Alex failed to duck the tea cup which smashed him square in the forehead. At first the pain didn't register, then he blacked out.

	When Alex woke up he saw an unfamiliar roof, he felt a warm towel on his forehead. He noticed an odd silence, and he really couldn't see,
his eyes were adjusting to the darkness, he was able to move his head abit, he suddenly noticed his entire body felt weak. His head didn't hurt really,
until he thought about it, then he noticed a powerful aching. It felt like Warren had hit him with a cinder block not a tea cup.
	He noticed a light turn on, he quickly pulled a trick he had refined extensively over the years, he feigned sleep almost perfectly, his eyes 
were shut, his breathing and heartbeat had slowed, and admittedly his awareness was dulled, but he was still concious.
	By the soft sound of hair rustling he noticed, whoever it was must have long hair, and the way the floor boards squeeked indicated that
they were either moving really stealthy, or they were lightweight, probably female in build.
	He felt the towel leave his head, and then it was replaced by a hot moist one. He felt a soft hand press against his face, and used every
bit of will he had not to flinch, it was definatly a girl, he dared not open his eyes though to see who. He wondered just what had happened, then he
heard a 'tap tap' noise. That had to be Cologne's walking stick, so he didn't need to use much brainpower to realize where he was, and who was 
touching his face.
	Cologne spoke in Japanese for some odd reason, maybe she knew he was awake, "He'll be fine, that Warren boy has one hell of a 
throwing arm though, the salve I applied saved him, but it'll leave him drowsy and drained for about a day or so. Now off to bed with you." With that
he heard the 'tap, tap' of Cologne's exit.
	He then felt the warm hand leave his face, then he felt a light peck on his cheek. With a rustling of hair and soft footsteps, he noted
Shampoo's exit. He tried note to think about the ache on his forehead and went to sleep.

	The next morning he awoke to sunshine nailing him square in the face, he had slept on his side all night, and by chance ended up facing
right towards where the sunshine came in. He never could sleep on his back or belly. He immediatly noticed Shampoo, dozing in a chair facing
towards him. He quietly slipped out of the covers of the futon, and tried to stand, but the minute he was upright, he noticed the peculiar feeling of 
his feet giving way. He suddenly felt very exhausted, like he would have if he had taken his black belt tests three times consecutively.
	Shampoo immediatly sprang awake, and caught him, slinging him like sack of potateo's over her shoulder. She scolded him furiously.
	"Naughty naughty American, try to leave Shampoo when you not all better yet, back in bed you go." With that she gently put him back 
on the futon, and he honestly didn't think he had the strength to put up any sort of physical or verbal arguement.
	His voice was weak, he really was in bad shape, "R..really miss shampoo, you need not bother, I'm sure I can make it back on my..."
	She silenced him by getting out a bowl of rice and shoving a spoonful into his mouth, "No talk now, grandmother says you need lots of
rice and water now."
	So she spoon fed him for about half an hour, when he was sure he was to weak to even chew the rice, she threatened to feed him like birds
do, and somehow that gave him alittle more strength than he thought he had. After he had eaten all of the rice and drank all the water he could, she
told him to rest up, and left.
	Full of food and water, he waited for his body to process the raw materials into energy with which he'd make his escape. He was indeed
grateful for the aid that Shampoo and Cologne had given him, however he was not ready to get dragged into some marriage, besides he had to get
Warren back for putting him in this situation.
	He noticed a brown head of hair, with the rest of the cranial appendage attached, poke it's head through the doorway.
	Alex coughed, <Speak of the devil.>
	Warren scratched the back of his head, <Yeah well..sorry about the tea cup.>
	Alex chuckled, but stopped when it started to hurt, <Don't you mean cinder block, ow my head hurts.>
	Warren crossed his arms infront of his chest, <Serves you right for calling me a hillbilly.>
	Alex chuckled again, <Ow...well it's cause you are a hillbilly.>
	Warren looked ready to slug him, <If Cologne wasn't gonna nail me with that club again if I did, I'd kill you sooo bad.>	
	
End Chapter 3

Preview for Chapter 4

	Alex read the flyer, "A tournament?"
	Warren read it aswell, "To determine the greatest fighter in Tokyo."
	Ranma put his arms around the shoulders of both Americans, "Alright, finally some real competition!"
	Alex made a snide remark, <Do I smell a crossover?>
	Warren shrieked, <Fourth wall! You're breaking the fourth wall!>