All respects to Rumiko Takashi, her characters are obviously not mine, and not my property. Baka gajin no Nerima (The Fool Foreigner of Nerima) Chapter 2 Gaijin wa gakko ni ikitemasu (Foreigner Goes to School) Alex woke up to the sun rising slowly over the wall of the Tendo's. He had slept rather well he had to admit, chill of the air was offset by the comfy sleeping bag, and the soft, well tended ground. He sat up, streched, and made a large yawn. He wasn't used to rising with the sun, after all he was from Alaska. He headed into the house, since he knew he'd best get bathed before breakfast. Quietly he moved across the ground floor, heel, toe, heel, toe. He was used to moving quietly, and he had even taken lessons from his cats, so to speak. He always watched them, how they moved. He wanted to be like that, smooth, yet strong, and incredibly fast. Of course that was just idle fantasy, he had to get ready for school. As he slipped into the bathroom, he realised he must be up abit early, he still hadn't set his clock for Japan time, so he had no idea what time it was. He thought _Whatever._ to himself and bathed. He didn't mind the idea of school, it was the uniforms he hated. He wondered if they might let him off for being a foreigner, but he doubted that. Well, he knew he'd have atleast ONE day without uniforms, his first. He got out of the tub and dried off, dressed, and headed downstairs to wait for the others. Upon reaching the ground floor he was faced with quite a surprise. "You've gone soft boy! Letting an American beat you like that!" That was Genma's voice, accompanied by many fierce grunts and combat kyahs. "Soft?! I'll show you soft!" He heard fist meet flesh and bone with a loud <*POW!*>, followed soon by a splash, then follow up watery eruption. "GROWRRR!" "Sorry pops, can't understand yah, hah missed me yah...AH!" He heard another <*POW!*>, followed by the predicted splash, and resurfacing eruption. "Damn you! I swear, every day since then I've wondered why the hell I go along with all this engagement crap you've caught me up in! HERE'S WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER GOTTEN ME INTO!" He heard a crashing <*BAM!*> and a soft whizzing sound, like a whiffle ball just shot out of a cannon. He stepped out side to be positive. Sure enough, he saw a giant panda sailing across the sky, it's trajectory and velocity looking about right to get him half way to Shinjuku. Next to the koi pond he saw a wet Onna-Ranma standing there panting in the posistion of a rising uppercut. Alex realised that he was probably responsible for the fight, "Sorry, I didn't mean to cause any bad blood between you and your father." He bowered apologetically. Onna-Ranma, blinked a few times, then laughed, "Don't be sorry, we fight every morning before breakfast. Nothing to make a man fight harder than the prospect of food as soon as they finish. Wanna try?" She was still full of spirit. Alex wasn't so eager though, "Well I can't do that cool...flying trick you and your father and just about every other fighter here knows." Onna-Ranma blinked again, "Flying? Well I guess you could call it that. Well, I could probably teach you how to do it, if you promise to spar me tomorrow morning." "Can you teach it to me that fast?" "It's still pretty early, no one else but me and pops are up this early. Maybe Akane sometimes, just get me a kettle of hot water and I'll teach you." Alex was exstatic "Okay!" He dashed to heat some water. Within minutes he was bolting outside in his gi, with a brass kettle in tow. He handed it to Onna-Ranma. "You're a godsend." The cursed Ranma poured the hot water over her head, and quickly became a he. "Okay then, first one thing you gotta understand, this technique isn't about your strength, it's about focus. You're actually reducing your body weight, sorta, it's weird, but you just concentrate, and suddenly you become really light, allowing you to jump farther, and even stay midair for a while before gravity kicks in. Problem is, you can fly really easy if you get hit..that's why I went so far when you did that mean spin kick. Ouch I'm still hurtin..." "So that's why, I knew I couldn't possibly have hit that hard normally." "Yeah, anyway, it takes a proper mindset the first time, do it once, and you'll be able to do it with minimal concentration whenver you need to. So, take a one legged stance, with your weak leg straight, and your dominant leg bent, folded against your weak leg, this is the hardest part." Alex agreed, it was hard. His weak leg was definatly not used to supporting his body weight. But he was able to do it. "Good, good, now, just imagine yourself like a feather in storm, then just barely hop with one leg." He did as he was told, his eyes were closed, he was a feather in the storm, passive, without weight, floating while everything else raged around him. Then, he hopped. He opened his eyes, and realized he was sailing over the koi pond with his legs tucked up, and he even remained suspended at a zenith right over the pond...then gravity kicked in, and he fell straight down. He hit with a furious splash. He surfaced coughing water. Ranma helped him out, "No one makes their first jump." Alex spat out some more water, "I think I swallowed a carp." "Dry off and get some clean clothes you baka gaijin, I can smell Kasumi makin breakfast." After fixing himself up, he went down to breakfast. Kasumi was making somewhat idle chatter, "Oh my, where is Saotome-san?" Ranma stiffled a laugh, "He decided to take a little trip uptown, air express." Nabiki commented casually, "Honestly Ranma, all that hostility isn't healthy. I believe the Americans got the right idea, violence is an outlet of sexual frustration." Ranma coughed and sprayed tea across the table. Akane only laughed, "Did that hit alittle to close to home Ranma?" Ranma wiped his face and the tea he sprayed, "Nabiki, why do things always have to get down to sex or innuendo with you?" Nabiki gave an almost sadistic grin, "'Cause I like to see how you react Ranma dear." "Whatever." Ranma quickly finished his breakfast. Alex blinked. He definatly knew to be wary about Nabiki now, he sensed something he would almost describe to be near evil, but it was more like a straightout manipulative persona. Then he noticed something. "Where'd that Ryouga guy go?" Ranma spoke mockingly, "Piggy probably ran off going 'wee wee we' all the way home." Akane glared, "What was that?" "Nothin." Kasumi broke the bad blood with her calm voice, "Oh my, look at the time, you four better get going, or you'll be late for the first bell." The four students got up from breakfast and said their goodbyes. On the way, Ranma explained a few more things he thought Alex should be aware of. "Akane's gotta fight her way through a bunch of love sick idiots every morning, so don't get in the way thinking you have to save her. I made that mistake my first day, and it got me in a heep of trouble." Ranma explained the whole Tatewaki Kuno problem. Alex arched an eyebrow, "Sounds like one messed up teenager." Ranma laughed, "That's just the tip of the iceberg. Now come on, why don't you try jumping again, I'll race yah!" The young Saotome gave a competitive and mischevious grin. Alex returned the look, "You're on!" And with that, he lept into the air, clearing all a passerby below. Ranma followed, able to get much more air than Alex, of course he was used to this. He had heard Akane give off a remark about muscle brained men before he had took off, but he didn't care that much, that was just her way, and this was his. The two young martial artists continued their pseudo-leap frog pattern all the way to the walls of Furinkan. While he wasn't able to get as much air as Ranma, Alex was quick on his rebound, thus compensating, and giving him the edge to be the first to land on the walls. "Hah! Beat yah!" Alex v'd his fingers. Ranma quickly landed beside him and assumed a bowed leg sitting posistion on the wall. "Not bad, I guess you really are an exception to the rule about Americans. Oh look at all those poor suckers waiting for Akane." Alex looked to where Ranma was refering, and had to stabilize himself at what he saw. About four to five dozen teenage boys, all wearing the equipment of various athletic activities, he saw a guy wearing a soccer uniform, another in full football vest and helmet, and even a tennis player with a European Fencer next to him, and at the veeeery back, he saw a Japanese Fencer, a Kendoist, in a blue keikogi, holding his bokken to the ground with both hands resting atop the handle. "Who's the kendo guy in the back? He actually looks like he stands a chance, compared to the others." Ranma was quick to warn him, "That's the guy I was tellin' yah about, Kuno. Don't let him hear about how you beat Akane, or you're gonna be with me on his hit list. Handling someone in hand to hand is one thing, but handling Mr. Blue-Thunder and his bokken is a whole other." Alex shrugged, "I guessed as much. Can Akane beat him?" Ranma chuckled, "She always gets him while he's in the middle of some proclomation of love. Thank god that idiot will graduate before us." "Shouldn't we get to class?" "N'ah, this is always fun to watch." Ranma spoke with a hint of joy. Alex watched. Soon enough, Akane arrived, then things just went crazy. At once all of those guys swarmed her, shouting out their love for her, which he believed wasn't very sincere in most cases, just idle attraction. She took down two immediatly, and then tossed her book bag at him. She shouted, "Hold this for me Alex!" Alex grabbed it, almost thrown off the wall by the force of impact, "Sure enough!" Akane continued, using a whole variety of moves, mostly kicks and throws, but all to the best of effects. Soon the area was littered with downed bodys, until only the one he knew only as Kuno stood. He spoke with the closest thing to a Nihonjin reciting Shakespere in nihongo, "Tendo Akane my love, once again you have vanquished all those unworthy of your attention." Akane signed, "Not today Kuno, please not today." Kuno disregarded her words, "Ah, you do not wish to fight me because of your undying passion for me. I must ask, where is this wretched tempter of an American I hear has taken residence under your abode, associating with that cur Saotome?!" Alex's blood boiled, if there's one thing he didn't appreciate, it was people bad mouthing him when they didn't think he was around to defend himself. He stood straight up and yelled, "I'M RIGHT HERE!" Ranma groaned, "I really didn't feel like a serious fight this morning. If you don't mind me, you're on your own." With that, the pony-tailed boy leaped off towards class. "Ah, how quickly the wicked are to abandon their comrades! I challenge you gaijin!" Kuno spoke the word gaijin as any nihonjin would mean to say 'white-trash' instead of foreigner, and Alex didn't appreciate that one bit. Alex lept from the wall, being as fancy and impressive about it as possible. He was wearing his Korea Hat today, so his hair and general features were hidden under the cover in provided. He landed less than three meters infront of Kuno. Alex spoke casually, "And why would you want to challenge me? What is this, Edo period Tokyo? The fall of the samurai was a loooong time ago man." Kuno spat, "SILENCE WRETCH! You have been tempting my sister, drawing her like a moth to a flame, and I have the proof!" Then, Kuno suddenly took out a series of photographs, and tossed them into the air. Alex snatched one that came close, and his eyes did a double take. It was a picture of him in the tub, obviously taken by a well placed camera. In this situation, the tranquil water hand done little to hide any bit of his body. Alex looked up with a disgusted face, "Dude, you're a sicko." "QUIET! These are not mine, they're my sisters! I saw her fawning over these afore she left for school this morning! She said she had lain eyes the last eve upon a beautiful golden haired man from across the ocean. Take off your hat gaijin, I'll tear those golden tresses from your cursed head if you be the one!" Alex's hand went to his hat, and he took it off, throwing it through the air towards Akane, "Hold this for me please." His red-gold hair shone in the sun. Kuno took his sword up in an offensive slashing posistion, "You do be the one, have at you foul tempter!" The kendoist lunged fiercly at the gaijin. The fight had begun. Alex quickly put the technique he learned from Ranma to good use, leaping high into the air as Kuno made an easy to see, two- handed swing. Obviously this guy had never read Miyamoto. "Come down here gaijin!" Alex yelled down, suspended midair for a few brief moments, "You sure about that? Okay!" He sailed downwards, looking read to land a strike the moment his feet reunited with terra firma. Kuno was of course caught completely off guard when the only thing in his face were two finger's V'd, which in Nihon was generally the sign of victory, but for Alex, it was his universal non-vocal greeting of peace. Alex spoke with a calm, almost friendly voice, "Now, Kuno-sempai, are you really sure you want to fight? I have no idea why your sister has taken a shine to me, but believe me, I had no part in drawing her attentions." Kuno raised his bokken high, "YOU THINK I WOULD BELIEVE THE WORDS OF ONE WHO ASSOCIATES WITH SAOTOME!?" The bokken quickly came down. Akane screamed, "WATCH OUT ALEX!" Alex blinked, and his eyes focused for a moment, one thought crossed his mind. Cage the Tiger. With that, both his arms shot out, taking a crossed grip on both of Kuno's arms, stopping their descent, leaving the bokken inches from meeting his skull. "The sword is an extension of the arm, if the arm cannot move, the sword cannot swing. Some people think only to strike the sword, but why not instead go for the root of the problem, ne?" His voice was still friendly, almost advisory. "Damn you! Release me at once you foul American!" Kuno's arms strained to strike the sword harm, but to no avail, in this case, being below and thus having the nice stable ground as support, Alex had the advantage. "Only if you promise to stop this insanity. Agressively attacking people is one hell of a sociopathic pattern that will not get you far in the real world." Alex's grip stayed strong, he wondered if he should apply a bone breaking technique to send the point home. _Nah._ He thought. _I'll just put a sleeper hold. God look at the time, I'm gonna be late._ "I'd love to stay and chat..." He released his grip and stepped back, "...but I'm afraid I've got my first class to..." Kuno roared, "THIS FIGHT ISN'T OVER!" Alex found himself suddenly dodging a flurry of bokken strikes, while the crazy upperclassman yelled out fierce but surprisingly clean insults. He was starting to figure that he'd have a fight atleast once everyday, whether he liked it or not. Alex was so pissed he started yelling in English, Immediatly he leaped up and behind Kuno, who was halted from reacting, because he had to disengage his flurry attack. Alex moved fast. He immediatly had one arm around Kuno's neck, and the other locking the first in place. His elbow jutted out, as he didn't want to apply a choker hold (a pontentially lethal one at that), just a sleeper hold. Kuno thrashed, until the blood flow to his brain became precariously thin, he began to feel weak and woozy, then, after twelve seconds, he passed out. Alex quickly released the grip, lest he cause permanent brain damage, like the guy didn't have enough already. He looked at the school clock, he had about forty-five seconds to get to his class. Ranma waved at him from a second floor window. Ranma shouted down, "You'll never make it running Alex, grab Akane and jump!" Alex sighed, "This isn't my day." Using every ounce of strength his lithe body had, he picked up Akane and lept as hard as he could...only he wasn't going to make it. "Here Ranma, catch!" He tossed Akane with all he had towards Ranma, who's eyes gaped as the young onna sailed to him midair. Of course it didn't take him long to realise if he didn't catch her, he'd have alot to answer for. Luckily he did catch her, and Alex sailed into school building, getting intimate with the rough stone wall seperating the first and second floor windows. However he was taken away from the sweet embrace of cold concrete as Akane, lowered down by Ranma, hoisted him up by one arm, just seconds before the bell rang. As quick as lionesses to a fresh catch, many 3rd year schoolgirls started to crowd around the now titled "Yuukanna no baka wa kami no kinno gaijin", or "Golden haired foolishly brave foreigner". He wasn't sure if he was gonna learn to appreciate or loathe the title, he was just glad he wasn't late for class. Akane smiled at him, "I'm not sure about the brave, but they sure got the fool part right." She patted him on the head. "Better take a seat before Hinako sensei gets here." Alex quickly sat up and bolted to a seat, but it seemed that, as if by some grand conspiracy for, or against him; he hadn't figured out which yet, the only free seat was surrounded by schoolgirls. He gulped, crossed himself (even if his faith was zero to null, it didn't hurt to try once it awhile), and took a seat, setting his backpack to the side of his desk. He could tell right away this was gonna be a LOOONG day. After several situations with half-insane teachers and a tiny, crazy old man with a bag on his back and a bandana over his face, it was lunchtime. Alex tried to get a seat with Akane or Ranma, but the mob of girls weren't gonna leave him alone. They were amazed by the "Kinno gaijin". Everyone asked if it was true that he had beat Kuno, and Nabiki had been there to back it up by saying she had seen him passed out in the nurses office. One of them asked if they could touch his hair, of course he knew that blondes were not naturally occuring in pure blood asians. He asked kindly if they'd let him eat lunch, then he realized he didn't have any. Then, dangling right in front of his face, was a bento box, which he saw Nabiki holding. He had already pretty much figured her out. He spoke candidly, "This is gonna cost me, isn't it? Well I don't have any En so don't expect anything." She spoke mockingly sweet, "Cost you? Now why would I do that? This is the lunch Kasumi made you, but you forgot it, so I decided I'd give it to you at lunch. Quite a following you've earned." Alex grunted, Nabiki smiled, Alex blinked, she had just spoken almost perfect english. She noticed his surprise, and giggled, She laughed now, and set the box down. "Have a nice meal." She then merrily skipped off. Alex shuddered, and wondered if she had done anything to it. He lifted the lid and examined the appetizing contents, smelled them, didn't seem suspicious. So, surrounded by schoolgirls; interested in obviously only one of two things with him, which he didn't feel like acknowledging to himself. He really had just wanted some privacy, maybe alittle time with friends, but definatly not some fangirl following. As he ate he became more and more aware of the slowly amassing nebulae (yes, he was using astronomical definitions) of schoolgirls. He started to feel claustrophobic, and decided to act on his gut instinct rather than go against what had served him so well for so long. He finished the rest of his bento, then put his hat on. He always felt it made him stealthy. He made his way out by slipping under the lunchroom table, then, attempted to find a break in the ring of girls. He thought of something all the sudden, people could say interesting things about you when you weren't around. He decided to listen for a second to the endless prattle. "...wonder if he's got a girlfriend..." "...Akane's got a thing for him..." "...Kodachi's crazy over his hair..." "...wanna touch it..." "...kawaiii desu ne..." Alex didn't hear anything useful, he immediatly disregarded the comment about Akane. Soon, he found an area where the population density was thin enough to slip through. Pulling off that magic he did so well, he slipped out from under the table and slipped between every girl, keeping his head low, turning when he had the space, turning himself in all sorts of directions, never even brushing against one in such a manner that would give him away, then he was out. Quickly he bolted for the campus park, where he found a nice tree to sit under. Taking in the shade, he sat his back against the tree, tilted his hat infront of his face, and rested, and contemplated. _Great._ He thought. _Amazons, psycho gymnasts, samurai wanna-be Kendoists, and a mob like you wouldn't believe._ He noted the sounds of disturbance from the school cafeteria. They must have just noticed he slipped away. He guessed he had another five minutes. Checking his watch he had atleast ten before class, so he relaxed. He took in the warm shade, and sighed, remembering of a different time that was less than fourty-eight hours ago, not including time zone changes. He missed talking to his friends, but from what he knew about the Tendo's financial standings, a fully functional PC with internet access wasn't gonna happen. His thoughts immediatly went to his friends, Prettz, Hibik, Lazar, Dash, FX. All of them people he not only knew as friends, he also respected them in one way or another, Prettz, Laz, and FX immensely so. He felt Hibik would fit right in here, who was just as much a martial artist as he was. Laz...well from what he had learned about Laz online, he'd just scare the crap outta everyone around him. Aqua-transexuals were one thing, a guy who believed he was a dragon's soul trapped in a human body (which Alex about 85% believed), was a whole other. He blinked out of his deep thought session. Five minutes had past and he was still undisturbed. For about, five seconds. He heard a rustling in the tree, then his backpack dropped gently into his lap. Strange, he thought, the thing weighed a ton, it should have landed harder. He looked up to see Ranma on a branch, legs bowed like usual. "Thought you might want that back." Ranma laughed. Alex reflected, "I knew I forgot something. I was so busy with a claustrophobic episode I didn't consider I forgot my bag. Thanks." Ranma made a hand-gesture which told him to think nothing of it. "We better get back to our homeroom, class is gonna start soon." Alex nodded, and soon the two martial artists were off to class. Showing him a few tricks he'd learned, Ranma taught Alex all the quick and quiet ways into the school, aswell as all the closest sources of water, hot or cold; like he needed to know, but he humored Ranma. Ranma also warned him about principle Kuno, the father of Tatewaki and Kodachi. Alex wondered how far the apple fell from the tree, or in this case, the nut. The last classes of the day were a breeze, thanks to help from Akane and Ranma on Kanji. If it was anything else, it was Kanji that gave him trouble. Of course he had to live with it, even if it was an outdated pictograph system. After class, it was time to bolt. Alex felt charged for some reason, after school always did that to him, "Hey Ranma, I'll race you back to the dojo." Ranma's eyes lit up, competition always hooked him, "You're on!" He quickly took off out the window. Alex followed after, "Hey wait up! I didn't say go!" The two fighters lept from tree to tree across the Furinkan Campus, and yet less than 1 meter from clearing the wall, Alex felt something snag his leg, and yoink him to the ground. He hit the grass hard, and normally he would have assumed such an impact would knock him out, yet hanging around in Nerima less than two days had already made him tougher, somehow. Then, he heard that laugh. "Hohohoho! My golden warrior from across the waves, you are as good a catch as my dear Ranma!" It was Kodachi, obviously having nabbed him with her gymnastics ribbon. Before he knew it, his leg was free, he quickly turned around and sat up, spitting grass out of his mouth, "I'm not a fish to be caught!" "Ah but I only caught you because you were leaving before I could give you this." She pulled out a bouqet of black roses and tossed them to him. He caught them. He was puzzled to say the least, "Huh?" She smiled in a disturbing way, "A gift from the Kuno's, welcome to Nihon." Suddenly, the bouqet exploded in a cloud of yellow powder, Alex would have coughed, but he found every single part of his body immobile, not responding to his mental commands. She made that soul shaking laugh again, "Hohohoho!" Alex's mind started racing, _Oh crap, Ranma, Akane, someone get me out of this predicament!_ She traced a finger-tip on his frozen expression of confusion, speaking of him as she would some object, "Now what to do with you.." Then, Kuno decided to interrupt, "HANSEN I SHALL SMITE THEE!" The kendoist leaped out of the bushes, bokken in hand, and he slashed at the air between him and Kodachi, or atleast he tried, before Kodachi produced a gymnastic ball and smashed Kuno in the face with it. "Brother, I'm deciding what to do with my new pet, do not interrupt me!" But Kuno protested, "I will not allow you to associate with this gaijin tempter! I may have approved to your courting of Saotome...but this..this..!" However, Kuno was next to recieve a gymnastics club in the stomach, "I said do not interrupt!" As the two Kuno's argued, Alex quickly found the paralysis powder wearing off, he could feel his toes. Using a trick he had learned himself, he moved using the tips of his shoes, stealthly moving away crab-style. Once he got into the bushes, he let himself fall over until the rest of his body responded again. By then, the argument between the Kuno's had been so heated that they forgot all about him, and he was grateful for it. Alex realised that by the time his arms and legs were functional, a half hour had passed. Then, when everything was finally in working order, it had been a full hour. He knew Ranma and the Tendo's must have been worried, but right now, his stomach was protesting that it needed filling. He decided that maybe some Peking Duck sounded good, and luckily his parents had given him plenty of American dollars, which he had exchanged for a fair ammount of En, more than enough to survive on. So, checking himself, he lept off, out of the bushes, and over the wall of Furinkan. He grinned, knowing he'd never get tired of this trick. After running a good distance from Furinkan; he wanted to get as far away as fast as he could, Alex made his way to the Nekohaten, his stomach still growling loudly, demanding the flesh of stupid weak animals to fill it. Of course, who was he to argue with his gut? Upon reaching the Nekohaten, he got another one of his trademark bad feelings. That nagging feeling, a slight nipping at the base of his spine and behind his skull. He hadn't gotten one of those feelings in a long time, since the day he nearly got kicked out of his school, for an act he hadn't even commited yet. He ignored it, sure that for once his sixth sense was wrong, what could be so harmful in a chinese restraunt? How wrong he was. Stepping in, things started innocent. Cologne was abit surprised to see him alone, but she seated him with a certain hint of joy, and took his order, though when he said "Peking Duck", he was sure he heard Mousse gulp quite verbally. The old woman noted his order and hopped off into the kitchen on her walking stick. Alex waited pateintly, noticing that both Mousse and Shampoo gave him akward glances as they passed to serve food to other patrons. That feeling came back, he wapped himself on the back of the head, scolding himself for being so paranoid. About fifteen minutes later, Colonge came out with a plate of peking duck. Alex gave his thanks, and quickly ate. After finishing his meal, his stomach thanked him. Alex patted his slightly swollen gut now, and asked for the check. Cologne informed him this one was also on the house. Alex raised an eyebrow, but didn't question her hospitality. He thanked her again, and got up to leave. He acknowledged to himself then that his bad feeling was just paranoia...until he heard a rush of air and a shrill battle cry from above. He looked up, it was Mousse, but with a wicked set of steel talons protruding from his pant legs. He eeped and quickly dove to the side. Mousse's claws retracted back into his pant legs when he realised his attack had missed. Alex panted, not feeling to comfy having to get so physical just after eating "Wha..what the hell?!" Mousse didn't say anything, and mearly continued his attack, throwing his sleeve out toward Alex, causing a spiked ball and chain to shoot at him. He made a quick last-second dodge, barely putting a few centimeters between himself at the deadly weapon. Taking the opportunity, he straffed around the chain till he could grab it. Then, he tugged at the chain and swung Mousse with all his might, right into a nearby wall. Alex wasn't sure how he had hidden all that stuff in his robe, but he guessed he had more tricks, and something else kept the chain anchored firmly into whatever pocket dimension it came from. Alex quickly put some distance between himself and Mousse, leaping up onto a nearby roof, clutching his side. He chided himself, "What did the surgeon general say? Never get into a martial artists duel less than fourty-five minutes after eating..." Mousse wasn't shaken so easily, he was soon up on the roof with him, Alex still clutched his side. "Listen Mousse, maybe we got off on the wrong foot or something? I've had my fill of fights for today." Mousse replied with some crazy Chinese he didn't understand, then pressed his attack again, whipping a new weapon out from his robe. It was...a Brass Man?! Alex had heard of this crazy weapon from his friend Warren, but he always thought it was total bull. Mousse held the brass statue like a very large stave. Alex tried to keep a light hearted mood, "Dude you could really hurt someone with that." Mousse gave that battle cry and charged forward, making a wide horizontal swing with the Brass Man. If Alex knew one thing, it that you just couldn't block some attacks with your bare hands. He only wished he had some kind of stave for himself. He noticed a line of laundry hanging on the rooftop, and decided to improvise. He ducked down and rolled toward the laundry, and yanked the metal pipe out of the ground, sending womens underwear fluttering in the wind. Out of nowhere, that weird little old dude he had seen at school today, lept on Mousse's head, using it as a spring board shouting out, "Panties!" Before he knew it, the old man was no where to been seen, but Mousse still had his head bowed, suffering the pain of having his neck used as a support. Alex took his opportunity. Holding the long metal pipe with both hands, he drove it into Mousse's stomach, causing the fighter to double over and collapse. Alex let out a sigh bubble, "I really hate doing this.." He had no time to contemplate his actions though, he heard another rush of air, and quickly hit the deck. Something huge and round on a thin stick handle flew over his head, it was a chinese Bonbori. The weapon kept on going till it crashed into a nearby apartment window. He looked in the direction it came from, it was Shampoo. Sudden realization dawned on him, "OH, NOW I GET IT!" Shampoo shouted the same chinese phrase he had heard from Mousse and lept up and down upon him with her remaining bonbori, determined to crush his head in. He rolled away and she made a nice break in the roof where he had been. He spoke with an angry voice, "I know what you're trying to do here and it ain't happenin'!" She only responded by following up with an upward swing, which he dodged, and a powerful downward swing, which he countered with alittle trick Ranma had explained to him. He planted both hands and his left knee, solidly on the ground, then he brought his leg straight up to strike the bonbori at it's widest point. The trick worked, the round part snapped off and went flying straight into the air, leaving Shampoo with just a stick in her hand. Alex got up and dusted himself off, speaking casually as he always did in these situations, "Now, if you're quite done trying to get hooked up with me. I have to get back to the Tendo's. And don't you dare try to construe this as beating you, if you don't feel like continuing, the only one who defeated you was yourself." Shampoo was angry now, "Then I no stop till you beat me or I kill you!" She charged him and made a wide hooking heel, which he stopped with a universal block, and countered with the same move he had used on Akane yesterday. She spun midair and hit the ground with a <*thwump!*>. "I'm REALLY getting tired of this Ms. Shampoo. I hate fighting, you know. Fine, if you want to fight me, go ahead, but I'm not fighting back, it's not gonna do anything, accept encourage you." He stood their, waiting for her next move. She got up and quickly struck out at him with a knife hand which was intended to strike the neck and crush the windpipe. He didn't move or react, except for a slight innocent blink. Realizing he wasn't going to move, her strike stopped less than a few casual millimeters from his throat. "Are you going to do it? You said either I'd beat you or you'd kill me. I won't fight back, I'm sick of fighting. I've fought more today than I've ever allowed myself to fight since I earned my black belt, and I hate it. I hate myself for it." He looked Shampoo straight in the eyes, her deep purple iris wavering under his gaze. She took her hand back, and without a word, lept off the roof into a nearby alley. Alex sighed in relief, Deciding he'd had enough for today, Alex lept across rooftops the rest of the way back to the Tendo's, hoping not to have any more strange encounters. When he had finally made it back to the Tendo's, he coul tell the sun was going to start setting within atleast an hour or so. He lept over the wall of the household, and landed near the Koi pond. Noticing a rather odd ammount of silence, he shouted, "I'm back!" Suddenly the whole house exploded; first the three Tendo girls, then Ranma, then the giant panda Genma, and lastly Soun, they all rushed out of the house to see him. Soun patted his head, "Dear boy are you okay?" Ranma bonked him on the head, "You scared the crap out of us, we thought you'd gotten lost or been nabbed by some nutbag." Akane bonked him next, "Don't ever do that again!" Genma held up a sign, "Imagine what could have happened..." He then flipped it around, "...to this households honor if you'd been truly lost." Alex calmed them all down, and told him he'd explain everything over dinner. They agreed, and then went about their buisness. At dinner, he recanted all the events of the day after school, his brief abduction at Kodachi's hands, and his fortunate escape, and the fight with Mousse after meal at the Nekohaten, he decided though to omit the fight with Shampoo. He could tell from the looks in both Ranma & Akane's eyes that they knew he had left something out. He decided he'd tell them the rest when they were away from the others, they had a right to know he supposed, they were his closest friends this side of the big pond. That night he slept alittle less easy under the stars. He felt an odd foreboding feeling, like something big was gonna happen tomorrow, not discernably good or bad, just big. End Chapter 2 Preview for Chapter 3 He wouldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, but there he was. He shook his head abit, then put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "Hey Warren.Well, what's a guy like you doing in a crazy place like this?"