All respects to Rumiko Takashi, her characters are obviously not mine, and not my property.

				        Baka gajin no Nerima 
			         (Translation, The Fool Foreigner of Nerima)

					Chapter 1
				Gaijin wa Tendo no uchi ni kitemasu
			         (Translation, A Foreigner comes to the Tendos')

	Nihon, Japan, the land of the suns origin (or the rising sun to westerners). On the far east coast of this small but densely 
populated island nation, the sun rises. From it's origin, it casts an orange glow over the city of Tokyo, soon bathing the residental district 
of Nerima in it's warm radiance.
	On a lonely street, a single person; we will call it a person as it's gender is currently indiscernable; walks with their nose deep in a 
map of Tokyo. Wearing a lightweight, dark brown coat hanging open, and a blue baseball cap bearing the flag of Korea on it, this person 
walks oblivious to little else than the map, and the loud japanese music blasting his ears through a small set of headphones. Why they were 
lucky not to get hit by a purple haired bicycler who also seemed rather occupied, to occupied to watch infront of them for stupid 
pedestrians anyway. They even just barely avoided getting splashed by some old lady on the corner who grumbled about gaijin tourists. If 
they had been any less occupied, they'd have also noticed that black piglet running about like hell was on it's heels, when it just turned out 
to be some hungry gourmet looking for some sweet & sour pork.
	The person stopped, and pulled the map down from their face. Immediatly they are discerned, as a he. A 16 year old American 
male, of slightly pale complexion, with a thin face, light blue eyes, and a strand of dirty red-gold hair sticking out from under his hat.
	"Crap, why does everything have to be in Kanji!?! Eh?" The teenager suddenly noticed he appeared to be infront of something 
of a small manor, or atleast the outer wall of it. He noticed he was indeed, at the very front door, and looked at the sign. Unable to make out 
the various well written calligraphic Nihongo, the boy pulled out a slip of paper.
	He looked from the piece of paper and to the sign. "This is the place?" He remarked curiously. "Guess I hit the big time. They 
must be software designers or something technological like that...no wait..Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling? Well, might aswell 
knock." The boy shrugged, he obviously didn't find it odd to be talking to himself, everyone had their little quirks, his monologue was his.
	He reached up, and knocked "shave and a haircut" on the door. He spoke japanese in a rather shakey voice, "Ohayoo!"
	The door opened with an painfully long creak.What the young gaijin saw was rather surprising. He expected a Nihonjin to appear 
beneath him, after all he was rather tall, 6ft. Instead, he found himself looking straight up at a giant chinese panda. The thing looked around 
a second, then decided to look down and finally noticed him.
	Abit shaken from the sight of a giant panda, the gaijin attempted to speak to the thing in Nihongo.
	"Uhm, sumimasen..demo...watashi no namae wa Arekkusu Hansen desu." (Translation: "Excuse me, but, I'm Alex Hansen.") He 
then slapped himself upside the head.  "You idiot, what's a giant panda know of Japanese, wish I knew Chinese." 
	The panda held up a sign then, but the gaijin just stared, dumb founded.
	Alex spoke, stuttering abit with his Nihongo abit. "Um, got anything that doesn't have so many kanji...hirigana kudasai?"
	The panda nodded, and held up a sign written only in hirigana. Alex read it aloud.
	"Are you the exchange student?" The blonde nodded, not that you could easily tell he was blonde, or make out much else of him 
in his getup. "Hai, so desu."
	The panda whipped out another sign. Alex read it aloud again.
	"Welcome to the Tendo Dojo." The panda then flipped the sign around. "Follow me."
	Suddenly, a gently feminine voice called out. "Saotome san? Nani o shimasu ka?"
	What stepped out was about the most beautiful thing Alex had even seen. She stood abit shorter than him, with long brown hair 
that was tied in a ponytail hanging down over her left shoulder. He immediatly shook his head abit to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he had 
just crossed the big pond to meet a goddess.
(Author's note, from now on, all dialouge in Nihongo is denoted with normal " ", while english dialouge will be in < >).
	"Afternoon, I'm Alex Hansen. I believe you knew I was coming, I'm the exchange student." For some reason he couldn't possibly 
make eye contact with her, unable to stop blushing.
	"Ah! Yes yes, oh my I bet you're starving, come in come in. I'm Tendo Kasumi, it's a pleasure to meet you." She spoke with a 
smooth voice. Her smile was enough to possibly knock him back to Alaska.
	She took his hand and he immediatly began stammering "Ah, gladly. Is..um..anyone else home right now? I'm really screwed up 
for...ahh...time right now, I think my watch died over Okinawa."
	As if to answer, he heard what sounded like a manly shriek of terror, and a loud spash, then the sounds of arguing between two 
women. He picked up things like 'tomboy' and 'pervert', unsure which of them was more steamed.
	The panda popped up another sign. "The fruit of my labors are all sour." He could have sworn the sign was to read 'loins' instead 
of 'labor' for a second, but that had to be his imagination.
	"Oh yes, you're just in time for breakfast." She seemed to glow as she spoke, her energetic attitude making the heat and light of 
rising sun seem pale. "And all that it might entail." She spoke that almost as if to warn him.
	As Kasumi lead him in, he did not notice the Panda holding up one last sign. "Abadon All Hope, Ye Who Enter."

	As he stepped into the lawn of the Tendo's, he found himself taken aback for just a moment, it was, for lack a better word, 
beautiful. The sun reflected off the rippling koi pond...rippling? It should have been completely still unless the fish were jumping right now, 
and by the motion he saw it looked like a large rock had been thrown in...or a person. Alex was starting to wonder just what the Tendo's 
idea of breakfast entitled.
	"COME BACK HERE RANMA!" Alex recognized that voice, it was one of the women he had heard earlier. He looked just as he 
and Kasumi turned a corner outside the house, to suddenly find his face rammed straight into a healthy portion of clevage. At this time, his 
brain entered minimum power operation, leaving him only two operations in response to this chain of events. Start gropin, or pretend to 
pass out and hope they didn't make him commit hara-kiri or seppuku. What happened next rendered both ideas obsolete. Whatever woman 
he had happened to 'bump' into, grabbed him and chucked him aside, continuing to run. The blonde landed face first in the grass, thankful 
that he had not given into his American teenage urges before he ended up carving a square in his belly with a tanto.
	When he pulled himself up, he looked to see a strong woman; she had to be strong to swing THAT mallet around; not much 
older than him, chasing after some red-haired girl with a pony-tail in some interesting chinese clothing. They both looked his age for that 
matter. He smacked himself mentally.
	_Nihonjin don't think with their dicks like Americans._ He thought to himself.
	While he was standing up, Kasumi was scolding the two girls for acting in such a violent matter infront of their new guest.
	The black haired one answered first "Oh..I'm sorry."
	The red haired one followed after. "Yah, sorry about tossin yah and all.."
	Kasumi spoke to the black haired one first. "Akane, do you know where father is?"
	"Taking his bath. He said he'd be down soon for breakfast."
	The red one absent mindedly took her top off..and Alex realized much to both his pleasure and great mental pain that she wore 
no bra. He quickly spun around praying she did not see him gazing. He murmured to himself. "I thought the letter said Ranma was a guy..."
	Ranma began walking inside "I'm gonna take a quick hot bath myself. I'll be right back down."
	Alex still had his back turned, and Akane took notice of his embarrasment and down cast eyes. She patted him comfortingly on 
the shoulder. "Don't worry, she's just an insensitive jerk with no modesty." She said it as sure as someone would be forecasting a clear 
sunny day. " Come on, I'll show you around the house.
	He stammered again, he noted to himself he was doing that abit to much. "O..okay."
	From what he discerned of Akane as she gave him the layout, Akane was a passionate type, quick to jump with her anger, but 
also equally compassionate and kind. Besides, she was a martial artist, she told him she was, and he respected that.
	During the tour he noted something odd, he saw the red head he assumed was Ranma, enter the bathroom, and yet when Akane
led him downstairs for breakfast, he saw a tall (tall for a Nihonjin) black haired male step out, with apparently the same hair style as Ranma.
He shrugged it off, deciding that all would be understood at breakfast.
	At breakfast, everyone finally got a good look at the young Amerikajin. Without his coat or hat on, his appearance was much
easier to discern. Lithe, looking almost fragile in some ways, yet tall, and wirey. Even on his knees he was just abit taller than Tendo Soun.
He noted both the black haired otoko, dressed exactly like Ranma, and the scarf headed man in the white gi sitting at the table.
	Soun lifted his face from his ocha tea, and spoke, breaking a silence of seeming respect. "Well, I suppose introductions are in
order. First I'd like to welcome you to my house, and hope your stay in Nihon is as pleasent as possible. I believe you've met most of the
girls. Kasumi, my eldest daughter, she's nineteen, and Akane, my youngest, she's sixteen. The young lady to your left is Nabiki, my 
middle daughter, she's seventeen." He looked to whom Soun was referring to. She didn't look much older than Akane, yet she seemed to
radiate a sly sense of maturity. He got an odd feeling, not one of his patented bad feelings, just an odd one. He decided he wouldn't give
this girl to much trust, or he'd end up regretting it.
	All three girls looked at him and bowed in greeting. Soun continued meanwhile. "And these two slac..I mean fine gentlemen are
Saotome Gendo & Ranma." He flinched, and he believed it was easily seen.
	Both of them bowed in greating. But he immediatly brought up the question. "Um excuse me if I may ask something Tendo san."
	Soun lifted himself up from his ocha again. "Eh? Yes ask away."
	"I saw another young lady earlier, with red hair and a pony tail, and she was named Ranma aswell...are they twins or something?"
	Nabiki began to speak out but the apparently male Ranma immediatly moved in to put a hand over her mouth. "Ah yes my dear
cousin RANKO. Kasumi gets us mixed up so often because of how we dress and do our hair the same. Uh she's out...getting groceries, 
yeah." Ranma's voice betrayed just about everything he had tried to hide.
	Alex raised his eyebrow quizzically, but shrugged, whatever secrets this fellow martial artist wanted to keep, that was his affair,
and he wouldn't go asking any further. "I see." He said, trying to hide any sound of disbelief.
	"So, Alex, I remember your letter saying you were a rather dedicated martial artist." Soun spoke, seeming abit skeptical, but he
expected that, the ideas of dedication between America and Nihon were very different.
	"That's what my parents wrote anyway. I studied Kenpo for 9 years under Michael Rainey, who had studied under Ed Parker.
Unfortunatly, the dojo closed soon after I earned my 2nd degree black belt, money problems, bad publicity due to a minor, overly 
exaggerated incident." He spoke plainly, because he was mearly speaking fact.
	The elder Saotome, Genma, spoke. "Well quite a mouthful there. What did you do after the school closed."
	"Unfortunatly...the loss of my dojo was rather damaging..I did not feel like pursuing another field of martial arts, but I still
practiced what I knew, every day."
	Ranma quipped up "How many different fights have you been in?"
	Alex raised an eyebrow in response. "Fights? I don't fight."
	Both Saotomes face faulted.
	"Martial arts are not for fighting to me, they are to some people, and I respect that, competition is a healthy thing. But I can't
stand hurting people. Something Mr. Rainey almost literally beat into me. 'You don't hurt unless you have to, but when you do, you better
be damn serious about the whole thing, our I'll kick your ass straight out into the street, and I'll make sure no other dojo will ever train 
you.'"
	Genma took a sip from his tea. "Quite a serious man, sounds like a very good man to study under indeed." The elder Saotome
adjusted his glasses, and elbowed a Ranma who seemed rather eager to say something. "Keep your cool boy."
	"Well it is Sunday, and I'm getting bored with slamming you, Ryoga, Mousse, and every other damn fool into the koi pond." 
	Alex could tell from all that, that Ranma was a VERY comptetive type, and he could guess he wasn't really happy unless he had
actual competition.
	"Well, I haven't sparred in a long time, but I suppose I could after breakfast." He might as well give the gung-ho martial artist
what he wanted or he might end up earning his wrath, which he did not want on his first day.
	Breakfast was served. Alex admitted it was different from his usual American breakfast of cereal and toast, but Kasumi's cooking
told him he didn't have to worry about eating well here.
	After breakfast Alex made himself familiar with the bath facilities of the Tendo household. While though he really did want to 
just strip naked and jump right in, he remembered that it was taboo to jump right into the bath without actually cleaning yourself first. So he
went through the tradiational Nihonjin ritual. Strip, sit, splash, scrub, wash, then soak. After a good soak, he made a quick change into his
red Kenpo gi, tieing off his black belt with two red stripes on it, and made his way down to the dojo.
	The dojo was certainly impressive, cause it was a dojo in the truest sense. Of course, this dojo was for tropical Nihon, while 
what he had known was for arctic Alaska. Of course the designs would be different. He saw both Akane and Ranma there, standing,
while Genma, Soun, and the other Tendo sisters sitting tradiational style. Akane had changed into a white gi, but Ranma was still in his 
chinese clothing. He shrugged.
	"So what, is this a two on one? Well can't always expect your opponents not to work together against you." He spoke matter of
factly.
	Akane stuttered "Wh..what? ME work with this baka hentai?!"
	Ranma instantly took the offense. "Yeah well same to you, you violent kawaikune!"
	"WHAT DID YOU SAY RANMA!" She looked ready to slug him all the way to Okinawa.
	Alex automatically stepped between the two of them, ever the mediator type. "I believe someone wanted to spar with me, if you
two would mind saving your sweet nothings for another time." He realized what he had just said. "Agh, I'm sorry I said that all of the 
sudden. I didn't mean it, sometimes my mouth shoots off, very sorry." He bowed deeply, casting his eyes down to show his regret.
	Genma chuckled. "He's humble. You could learn well from his Ranma, alittle humility would do you good."
	Sound retorted in a friendly way. "Ah yes, but to much humility leaves a man open, if he doesn't stand up for himself or maintain 
confidence."
	Genma "Yes, as with all things, the middle ground is what you seek."
	Alex coughed loudly. "Which one of you wants to go first? I assume you are sparing Akane, if not I'm sorry."
	Akane grimaced and cracked hir knuckles. "Oh don't be, I won't pass up the chance to find a new opponent."
	Ranma snorted. "You mean find someone you can actually beat."
	Akane gave a heated response. "I've knocked you all the way to Shinjuku before, so you can just shut your mouth."
	Ranma dismissed it. "I don't fight girls. You can have him first." He turned toward Alex. "Good luck, not like you'll need it I'm 
sure."
	Alex nodded, and took a posistion at one end of the dojo fighting ring, Akane took her posistion at the other. Soun was the
director.
	"Competitors bow to the director, bow to each other, fighting stances!"
	Alex quickly assumed his common open handed reverse bow stance, excellent when you anticipated your opponent to take the
offensive first in a match. He could make an appropriate block or parry to her first attack, then follow up with a quick finisher to make this
a fast match. He didn't like to fight, but he knew how to when necessary. He had read all the literature of life, Book of the Five Rings, Art
of War, Machiaveli, and so forth. These were all quite useful to a martial artist, as they taught not only forms of living, but of combat
aswell.
	Akane's stance radiated so much offensive intent he almost was sure it was a bluff, but no. He knew her way of thinking outside
the ring, so the only logical assumption was to apply it to her fighting style. She was passionate, devoted, but she was also vulnerable to
surprise, and quick to frustrate and anger.
	"Ready..fight!"
	Alex made no move, he didn't need to. Akane took off and ran towards him making a build up 'kyah'. If he could time how her
pitch rose, he could time the moment she struck. Just as her pitch spiked, she swung a powerful right roundhouse kick. He noted that she
intended to make use of the fact that he seemed to lean to one side, but he quickly went into a universal kick block, catching her leg 
between a force dispersing double arm guard. She was strong though, he was sure if he had done it any different, she might have broken
his arm. However, he had her right where he wanted her. She was dazed that her attack didn't knock him off his feet even thought it had
struck something. He quickly grabbed her leg with both hands and flung her across his body so that she landed infront of him face
first on the ground. He immediatly followed up with a windmill stomp, which he had no intention of landing on her of course, but landing
near enough to declare that he had won.
	But he learned this would not be an easy fight. She rolled to the left and tried to sweep him, technically she did. Her left leg had
struck him just where it was needed, but he had an odd sort of balance. Instead of resisting, he let his leg give way to the sweep, and
rolled forward, quickly getting back up, taking a more standard all purpose neutral bow stance.
	Akane was panting, sweat on her forehead, but he was only beginning to get hot, after all technically, she had had much more to
worry about than him with what had already happened. 
	He decided to try abit of psychological combat. "The idea of Kenpo.." he said "...is the Dragon, and the Tiger. The Dragon is
the open hand, and the Tiger is the fist or the claw hand." He suddenly relaxed and stood with both feet straight and demonstrated. "See."
He took his right hand as a fist, and his left hand as an open palm, and cupped the left over the right at the center of his chest. "They are
central. The fist cannot hold the open palm, the tiger cannot stop the dragon, but the open palm may cage the fist. The dragon rules the
tiger, the dragon must cage the tiger, but the dragon may unleash the tiger." He took his palm off and shot his fist out into the air. "Simple,
ne?"
	Akane growled and lunged at him, he realized then that his attempt only made her angry, he expected enraged, but he'd work 
with what he got. He pulled a simple manuever, fall back, grab your lunging opponents arms, kick, and let them fly. He did just that, and
boy did she fly. She almost broke one of the rice paper doors, but she luckily skidded to a stop before that happened. Alex quickly kipped
up and got back into defensive stance.
	Akane roared now and threw a straight step through punch. Alex did one of the simplest tricks he ever learned. He tilted his
body to the side so that the blow grazed infront of his chest, then grabbed the wrist, locked it to his body, and put his elbow down on a
spot behind hers. This was normally a breaker move, but he was just going to hold it hard enough so it hurt.
	She winced, obviously angry that she made such a foolish move.
	Soun stood up and declared. "Victory by incapacitation." All of the viewers clapped.
	Alex let go of the lock, stepped back and bowed to Akane, eyes downcast.
	Akane returned the bow. Alex could see a hint of shame in her eyes. He supposed being beaten by an Amerikajin was a bit hard
on her ego. He walked up and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "If this had been a tournament, and had I not met you outside the
ring, I'm sure I would have lost." He tried to give a warm smile, something he was not always used to doing.
	Akane looked up at him, he saw the shame retreat from her expression, and she smiled back, and said, "Good match."
	Alex turned around to face Ranma, adjusting his gi and tightening his belt. "I believe you're next."
	Ranma was still eager, but he could tell that the black haired Nihonjin was also wary now. He knew that the gaijin he faced was
not a pushover.
	They both took their respective sides of the ring.
	"Competitors bow to the director, bow to each other, fighting stances!"
	Ranma took a stance that interested Alex. Lead foot pointed forward, back foot at a 90 degree angle from the lead. His lead hand
forward, open yet curved, and the back hand curled behind his head. The hand posistioning seemed almost Crane, but the rest of the 
stance said otherwise.
	Alex decided, that since he couldn't determine Ranma's first move, he would take a standard neutral bow, ready to attack or 
defend.
	"Ready...FIGHT!"
	Nothing happened.
	The two competitors locked eyes with each other, trying to read each other's emotions, each other's faces, and even the simplest
acts of breathing, to find a way to end this fight in one move.
	Alex mentally repeated his mantra. The dragon is wisdom, the tiger is strength. The dragon rules the tiger, the dragon must hold
the tiger, but the dragon may unleash the tiger.
	Ranma noticed Alex's mind occupied with his mantra, and made that his moment to strike.
	It wasn't so much that he leaped, it was more like he flew. With what seemed to be only a mere push with his leg, he was
midair, on a direct crash course toward Alex.
	Alex was caught by surprise for a second, he'd never faced someone who could make themself air borne! He quickly got 
himself out of the way with a roll, and as if he had never left the ground, Ranma landed on the ground gentle as a feather. Alex immediatly
swore to himself he'd learn that trick, but he didn't have much time to think. Ranma leaped into the air again, doing a back flip which he
could tell would end up landing just behind him...he followed it closely, and started charging a 'kyah' in his throat. The moment that Ranma
met the ground again, Alex spun with the force of a coiled cobra, performing a short leaping spinning hooking heel kick, which ended up
catching Ranma square in the gut. The nihonjin flew again, but not of his own accord.
	Unlike what he did to Akane, Ranma this time DID slam through one of the rice paper doors, and then into the Koi Pond. Alex 
flinched, he had no clue he hit THAT hard, after all, he rarely sparred.
	The girls all clapped congratulations. Soun stood up and declared, "Victory by ring out!" Genma seemed occupied with 
something mentally.
	While Soun was declaring his victory, Alex was already exitting via the hole Ranma had made, to check on the fellow martial
artist.
	What he saw...was surprising. It wasn't Ranma in the Koi Pond, but that red head that Ranma had described as Ranko, wet and
angry. He simply said. "There's a loooooong story behind all this, isn't there?"

	He had heard it about three times and he still didn't believe it. Ancient Chinese curse, aqua transexuels, and all that.
	"Okay, let me try this again..." He took a pail of cold water that Akane had handed him seemingly out of no where, and splashed
Ranma again. How it happened he didn't quite understand, but what stood before him now was a girl version of Ranma with red hair. Next
Akane handed him a kettle of hot water out of nowhere again, and he poured it on Ranma. The girl was now replaced by a man.
	Ranma shouted. "NOT BOILING DAMNIT! Do it again and I'll kick YOU into the pond!"
	Genma bonked Ranma on the head. "Watch your mouth boy!"
	Ranma locked eyes with Genma sending sparks between the two. "How 'bout I let him experiment on you?!"
	Alex interjected. "I'm sorry to cause you any discomfort..it's just that..well..I can't believe it!"
	Nabiki, who had up until lately stayed rather quiet, spoke, "Trust me, by the end of the week, you'll believe just about anything."
	Alex raised an eyebrow. "What, there's more?"
	Nabiki gave a sly grin, "Just wait and see gaijin." She patted him on the cheek in a somewhat mocking matter.
	Kasumi looked at the clock and chirped up. "Oh my, in all the excitement of the sparring match, I forgot about lunch...and I don't
even have anything to make."
	If this had been a cartoon, Alex was sure he'd have seen a lightbulb (or japanese lantern atleast) pop up over her head. "How
about I take Alex on a tour of the neighborhood while we go get groceries."
	Ranma interjected, "Yeah but I'm hungry now, we'll stop by the Nekohaten or Ucchan's on the way."
	Akane looked pissed, she started speaking accusingly "Yeah, just so you could see that airhead Shampoo or Ukyo."
	Ranma growled. "Hey you can talk bad about Shampoo, but don't you dare talk bad about Ucchan. I've known her alot longer
than I've known you."
	Alex decided this was a good time to step back and let the lovers quarrel.
	After about ten minutes of heated arguement, it was decided that Akane and Ranma would take him on alittle tour of Nerima,
during which they'd nab groceries and maybe a bite to eat at one of those restraunts Ranma mentioned. The only thing he could discern
from the names was that Nekohaten had something to do with cats, and Ucchan, well that just must have been someones name.
	All during the 'tour', Akane pointed out various 'landmarks'. The park, Furikan High School, Dr. Tofu's office, the Kuno Estate;
which she warned him to stay away from, she also pointed the ways to the Nekohaten & Ucchans, but didn't seem to associate any 
pleasure with them at their mention. He was starting to get an odd feeling about the people she had mentioned earlier...Shampoo & Ukyo
were their names. He got a feeling things were gonna get interesting, whether they bode ill or fair.

	After getting a fair ammount of rice, soy sauce, and a variety of cooking materials on Kasumi's list, Ranma was at his wits end to
decide where to go to lunch. Alex could hear him debating with himself.
	He murmured on for about a minute, "Ramen, okonami..ramen, okonami..."
	Akane snuck up on him while he was deep in mental debate, and yelled right in his ear, "ARE WE GONNA STAND HERE ALL 
DAY?!"
	Ranma shook his head rapidly to clear his hearing.
	Alex spoke up, "How about this Nekohaten you mentioned."
	Ranma concurred, "Ramen it is then!" Akane didn't seem all to happy about the decision.
	Upon arriving at the Nekohaten, Alex discovered it to be a Chinese restaraunt, and at a semi-popular one at that, as there were
quite a fair ammount of people feasting on various Chinese dishes. However, when he stepped inside, something long, sharp, and pointy,
grabbed his attention.
	"Saotome Ranma, prepare to die!"
	Alex quickly ducked his head, and found a Chinese straight sword imbedded in the wall, where his neck had been.
	<What the hell is up with this?!>, he exclaimed.
	"Don't think you can fool me be pretending to be an American, Saotome!"
	Alex turned and found the confronting voice to be coming from a tall, long haired chinaman, who was wearing a loose silk robe.
	Ranma shouted, "Mousse you idiot! I'm over here!"
	Mousse blinked, "What trickery is this? Have you learned to put yourself in two places at once Saotome?!"
	Akane threw a nearby plate at Mousse, which struck, but did not phase him, "You baka! Put on your glasses!"
	Mousse began to boast, "I don't need vision correction to defeat my most hated ene..." Mousse was cut off by a club to the 
head.
	Alex followed the blunt end of the long staff, and found it in the hands of a short, very short, old woman. She brought her staff
off of Mousse's smashed head, and proceeded to speak to him angriliy in Chinese, Mandarin he guessed by the accent.
	The defeated Mousse scurried into the kitchen. The old woman then turned to Ranma. For her age, her voice was very clear.
	"Greetings future son-in-law, so nice of you to stop by. I see you've brought a new friend." The woman spoke perfect Nihongo.
	"Yeah, he's an exchange student from America. Alex, this is Cologne, owner of the Nekohaten."
	Cologne turned a look of scrutiny toward Alex. She then said, "I saw how you dodged that sword, are you a martial artist?"
	Alex coughed, _What is with these people and fighting?_ "Well, yes."
	Akane spoke up for him, "He beat both me and Ranma in two consecutive matches." She almost said it with an odd hint of pride.
	Ranma scoffed, "No offense to him, but he only beat me because I didn't expect him to be so good."
	Cologne gave a wise chuckled, "You must know that not all westerners are soft. I see this one has a hard spirit, though his body
may appear frail. Maybe I should Shampoo to test him." She chuckled again. Both Akane and Ranma became pale as rice paper. Then 
Ranma's stomach growled.
	"However, guessing by the sounds of my future son-in-law's stomach, you did not come to talk, please have a seat, I already 
have Mousse making you all beef ramen. If you excuse me, I have other customers to tend to." With that she hopped off on her staff now
turned walking stick. The three of them found a table, and Alex immediatly had to pop the question. "What's this future son-in-law stuff?"
They explained everything.

	Alex blinked a few times.
	"Whoa, now that's complicated."
	Ranma sighed, "You're telling me."
	Akane went on the offensive, "It's not like he tries to discourage her."
	Ranma of course defended himself, "I stopped trying cause I figured out it wasn't gonna work."
	Alex broke in, hoping to stop the fight and get his question answered at the same time, "So you think she wants to pair me up
with this Shampoo aswell?"
	Ranma spoke grimly, "If you win a fight against her. So be sure to either run like hell or play dead if she challenges you."
	Akane shifted her eyes, "So you want him to be a coward?"
	Ranma retorted, "I wouldn't want Shampoo following him back to America because he didn't know better than to beat a 
Joketzuku amazon."
	No sooner did Ranma speak the word amazon, than did a chinese girl with long purple hair fall into his lap out of nowhere, with
three steaming bowls of ramen.
	"Nihao, Ranma!" She saidin a high pitched voice, "Shampoo bring you lunch!"
	Akane glared at Ranma.
	Ranma stuttered under Akane's scrutiny, "Uh thanks Shampoo, if you could put it on the table, I'd like to introduce you to a 
friend of ours, he's from America."
	Shampoo set all three bowls on the table, then turned and looked Alex straight in the eyes. Suddenly she lashed out with a jab,
which he forturnalty parried aside.
	Akane yelled, "What was that for!? You might have hit him!"
	Shampoo spoke dismissively, "Shampoo just see if American is good like grandmother say." She locked her arms around 
Ranma's neck, "Ranma take Shampoo to date today?"
	Akane's glare turned into a scowl.
	Ranma quickly answered, "Sorry Shampoo, but after we eat, me & Akane have to show Alex around Nerima some more." Ranma
took her silence as acceptance, and quickly began to eat.
	Alex followed Ranma's lead, and began enjoying the delicious beef ramen. Akane ate aswell, but at a slower pace. When they
finished Shampoo informed them that it was on the house. They said their thanks, and left. Alex couldn't help but notice Cologne giving 
him a sideways glance as he exited behind Akane and Ranma.
	He shuddered, but didn't anything about it as they headed back to the Tendo's.
	On their way, they passed by a mail box, which Alex didn't find odd until he heard someone yell.
	"Bakusai Tenketsu!"
	The mail box suddenly exploded, letters and destroyed packages flying in all direction.
	"Where am I now?!"
	Where the mailbox WAS, now stood a nihonjin, probably about Ranma's age, black haired, wearing a yellow shirt and black 
pants, with a bandana wrapped around his head.
	Ranma groaned, "Just keep walking, if he doesn't see Akane we'll lose him fast."
	Akane scowled, and walked up to the man who had just burst out of the mailbox, "Ryouga-kun!"
	Ranma groaned again, "3..2..1.."
	Ryouga's eyes found Akane, and the man seemed to be in paradise, "O..ohayoo Akane-san.."
	Akane took this Ryouga by the arm and lead him over to the others, "Ryouga, this is Alex, he's an American exchange student 
who's staying with us. Alex, Ryouga, a good friend of mine."
	Alex examined this Ryouga, he could tell that this guy was probably strong enough to chuck boulders when he wanted to, but
right now the guy had a look of stupid bliss on his face, and even seemed ready to pass out.
	"Nice to meet you."
	Ryouga spoke like a man who had just taken a drink of pure pleasure, "Yeah, nice..."
	Akane patted the bandana wearing nihonjin on the shoulder, "Why don't you join us for dinner Ryouga-kun? You look 
starved."
	"Yeah, sure, whatever you say..."
	Alex was sure that if that man died now he would have died a very happy man. Ranma's emotions toward this man were all to 
clear though, he sensed pure hostility and loathing from Ranma toward Ryouga.
	And so three Nihonjin and one slightly confused, fish out of water Amerikajin, made their way back to the Tendo's.

	At dinner Alex was all to eager to go into detail about all the events of the 'tour' that day. Kasumi and Nabiki of course listened
intently, giving responses like "Really?" and "Is that so?" For some reason, after less than day, Alex already felt comfortable with this
family, his Nihongo had cleared up, his words flowed like water, and he definatly felt comfortable just being natural with them. Of course, 
everything he had learned back in America said that Japanese were polite, accepting, and even pretty open-minded, atleast after the War.
And of course these people had to be open-minded, they had an aqua-transexual under their roof, and they thought nothing of it. He had
a feeling he was going to enjoy his stay at the Tendo's, then one thing occured to him.
	"Uhm, where am I gonna sleep?"
	Everyone at the table immediatly went dead quiet, and looked at each other. Soun to Genma, Ranma to Akane, Nabiki to Kasumi,
while Ryouga was practically dead to the world in happiness as he sat next to Akane. Alex blinked a few times, and wondered if this was a
bad time to ask that.
	Nabiki finally broke the akward silence, "Not me."
	Kasumi followed quickly, "I'm not sure it'd be right."
	Ranma stepped up next, "Hate to say it, but I've got enough problems with space sleeping on the floor with the old man."
	Soun & Genma said in unison, "Not happening, sorry."
	Akane blushed, obviously the last man (or woman in this case) out. Alex guessed this ment he'd have to share her room, but he
decided he wouldn't put her in that situation.
	"What's the weather like? Unless it rains, it can't be worse than Alaska, I could sleep outside, or in the dojo."
	Akane spoke flustered, "No, we can't do that to you, you're our guest."
	Alex defended his posistion, "And as a guest it's best to be courteous to the needs of my hosts, don't worry, I like sleeping 
near the ground...it's...comforting."
	Akane caved, "Okay, but the second the weather turns bad, you'll come right inside or I'll bash you on the head and drag you to
my room myself." She then realised what she just said and turned a deep crimson. Ranma also realised what she said, but pretended to pay
it no mind, and Ryouga twitched in his euphoric stupor, as if what she said had somehow registered.
	"Deal then, well, I'd best find a futon and find the best place to get comfy."
	Kasumi told him where to find some, and he asked permission to leave the table so he could get himself settled for the night. Of
course he decided that before he got settled, he'd relax his nerves with a bath.
	After the usual cleaning ritual, he climbed into the bath and relaxed, letting the heat unwind his body. He had to admit, that 
adjusting to the overall humidity of Japan. It was like getting smacked in the face with a wet wash cloth every five seconds. However, when
submerged in a hot bath, the humidity wasn't so bad, but he still had to leave the window open...wait a second, he didn't open that window
though.
	"Where is my darling Ranma you American curr?!" Suddenly he saw a girl with long black hair in a tail behind her head, wearing
a skimpy dark green leotard, aparrently hanging off the roof upside down looking in the window.
	"Downstairs I think..hey my eyes are up here lady!" He was pissed. "If you don't mind, I'm trying to relax!"
	"How dare you speak that way to the heiress of the Kuno Estate! The Black Rose! You have a fire in you, baka gaijin, hohohoho
hoho!"
	That laugh, it sent shivers down his spine. "Okay that's it lady, if you don't mind I'm trying to take a bath!" His right arm
shot out in a palm strike, stopping less than two millimeters from her face. She blinked in shock, realising he had almost hit her, but 
intentionally held back. He then V'd his fingers. "Good evening to you." He pulled his arm back and slammed the window shut before she 
could react.
	After that he didn't feel very comfortable bathing, so he got up and dried off, dressed, and headed outside with a futon in tow.
	He set up the futon in the dojo, and a sleeping bag outside. He wanted to sleep outside, but if it got cold, the shelter of the dojo
might offer some warmth.
	He made sure to wear a few articles of clothing, normal shorts over boxers, and a t-shirt. Then he let himself slip into the sleeping
bag, looking up at the sky. He noticed that here, he could see alot more stars, though he didn't recognize any constellations save the
circumpolars he learned in Astronomy.
	He started to count the twinkling lights in the dark sky, recounting all the days events, and wondering just what the first day at
a Japanese school would be like.

End Chapter 1

Preview for Chapter 2

	Alex found himself suddenly dodging a flurry of bokken strikes, while the crazy upperclassman yelled out fierce but surprisingly
clean insults. He was starting to figure that he'd have a fight atleast once everyday, whether he liked it or not.